fell in LOVE -*- Sakureth

sakureth @ 2007-03-16T22:20:00

2007-03-17T05:23:05Z

Title: Silk
Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII
Pairing: Seifer/Zell
Writen to: "Cleaning Out My Closet" - Eminem
Words: 329
Summary: Seifer Almasy's silk sheets always make his head spin.
A/N: Totally random and short drabble. XD I haven't posted here in a while.

Seifer Almasy's silk sheets always make his head spin.

Every. Fucking. Time.

Zell doesn't know if it's because it feels so good to just flop down on them, or if it's because Seifer's a fucking freak for having them (silk is a girly sort of thing, so naturally Seifer must have issues for having them)... They do feel good, though; he won't deny that. So damn good. Sometimes Zell drops by Seifer's room with the pure intention of taking a nice nap, though for whatever reason it never ends up that way. Stupid Seifer.

Stupid sheets! Zell blames it on them almost as much as he blames it on Seifer. If it weren't for the shiny material, Zell knows for sure he wouldn't continuously end up in awkward situations. Zell's sure that Seifer must be breaking some of his own "Disciplinary Committee" rules by having those sheets in the first place. If Seifer can get Zell for his hair, running in the halls, talking with his mouth full... yelling, riding his scooter on campus swearing, making a scene... whining over the lack of hot dogs, sleeping in class, existing...

A-anyway! If Seifer can do that, Zell should be able to get him "in trouble" for having girly sheets! It makes sense.

ARGH. Zell hates those silky sheets with a passion. Zell doesn't even know why he's practically addicted to them. They're just shiny... and comfortable to lay on... and they kind of make Seifer's bed a little more fun to bounce on...

Or maybe it's because every time Seifer's hands roam all over him and he presses him hard into the mattress, the familiar feeling of silk is always stuck to his back (or his front... damn Seifer). Maybe that's it. (Maybe... maybe Seifer's considerate?) Zell has to think about it for a second. Is that why he's drawn to the pretty material?

... Nah. 'Course not. He has to grin. Obviously, the only reason Zell likes them is 'cause it reminds him that Seifer's a fag.

sakureth @ 2006-07-21T21:23:00

2006-07-22T04:40:23Z

Title: A Hollow Sort of Strength
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts II
Pairing: Leon/Cloud
Writen to: "The Ghost of a Good Thing" -- Dashboard Confessional.
Summary: Leon knows that there's something wrong with Cloud. He finds himself determined to know what it is.
A/N: bubbles92725 told me that Leon and Cloud couldn't work in KHII!canon. So of course I had to prove her wrong. Slight OOC, some swearing, and a bit of angst. ;D I tried to stay as in character as possible. Takes place the night before Cloud fights Sephiroth [Showdown of Fate II].

"What the hell is going on, Cloud?"

Leon stood firm and tall, a serious look on his face. Something was different about the blonde, and Leon knew it. His aura had changed. His general passive attitude had a somewhat bitter taste to it. He was tense - his posture was stiff. It annoyed Leon to no ends. Something... Something was wrong. But Leon would be damned if he knew what it was.

All day, Leon had watched him. He had restrained from saying anything before this time. But now it was dusk. The shopkeepers had already returned to their homes - and even if they hadn't, they were no longer in the market, and that was good enough for Leon. The only other person in the immediate area was Scrooge, but Leon was pretty sure that he was paying no attention.

It was growing dark. And Cloud was still there. That was one of the things that set Leon off. It wasn't like Cloud to stand around all day in plain view. Leon knew it wasn't his right to interfere in other people's lives, but... it was Cloud.

"What's your problem?" returned a low, unsure voice.

Cloud was a little caught off-guard. Maybe even a little nervous. He hadn't been expecting anyone to be around at this time of night. Especially not him. Leon wasn't the type to start conversation with Cloud. Leon also wasn't the type to approach him openly. His tone seemed rather strange as well...

Leon's eyes narrowed. Cloud found himself returning a frustrated gaze.

"You're my problem," Leon replied plainly. The time Cloud spend pacing back and forth throughout the market. The way Cloud looked straight ahead when it was obvious that something was on his mind. How he walked away... It was unnerving. Leon couldn't stand it.

"What's going on with you? Is it Tifa?" the brunette asked, not exactly caring if he was invading the other's space. Cloud nearly twitched.

"That's none of your-"

"Was it something that Aerith said to you?"

The blond grew silent, his gaze falling to the floor. How did Leon know about Tifa? How did he know that he had talked to Aerith? How...? Anger grew inside of him. Why wouldn't Leon mind his own damn business? And why in hell did he seem so pissed off? Cloud dealt with this the only way he knew how to.

"Shut u-!"

But before Cloud could finish, Leon grabbed his shirt and pulled him to the side of the pillar. He gazed past Cloud, staring silently at Scrooge. He didn't want to draw attention to this. If Scrooge knew that he was talking to Cloud alone as the town grew dark, Leon was pretty sure that word would get around. And the last thing he wanted to do was explain the situation to Aerith and Yuffie. He didn't move until the duck was gone.

Cloud let out a sigh. Why won't he fucking let me talk? the blond thought angrily, but kept those sort of thoughts to himself. Judging by Leon's aggressive exterior, Cloud had the feeling that he wouldn't be left alone until the brunette got what he wanted. Whatever that was...

Leon had Cloud backed up against the side of the pillar. "Are you going to tell me what the fuck's wrong with you?" There was that tone again. Cloud didn't really know what it meant. It wasn't hateful or snide. If he knew any better, he'd probably say it was concerned.

"It's nothing. I just-..." The blonde paused for a moment. Something told Cloud he wasn't going to get out of this one. Aerith let him go when he said he didn't want her involved... Would Leon do the same? Cloud doubted it. But what was he supposed to say? 'I'm looking for Sephiroth, the darkness inside me. I have to defeat him.' It worked well with Sora, but it wasn't something he wanted to say to Leon. Cloud knew that if he told Leon about Sephiroth, the brunette would probably do something irrational... face him without a second thought. Cloud didn't want that. He had to face Sephiroth on his own. He couldn't be weak. He had to stay strong. Even though he knew this, he tried his best to put his pride behind him to speak, even if it was only for the moment.

"I... I went to Traverse Town to find Aerith... I came back to Hollow Bastion for her..." Cloud really didn't know what he was saying. He especially didn't know why he let his guard down. Leon was the only one who made him feel this vulnerable. Well, besides Sephiroth. But that was for a completely different reason.

"I fought for her... I did everything I could... But she only seems to have eyes for you!"

"And I only have eyes for you!"

There was a brief silence. Cloud fidgeted a bit. What the fuck was he supposed to say to that? He raised his blue orbs and awkwardly met with Leon's. Leon's strong, piercing blue eyes. Cloud almost got lost in them - almost, and if he were someone else he probably would have. If he were someone else...

If he were someone else, he wouldn't have to worry about Sephiroth. He wouldn't have to run from Tifa. He wouldn't have to hide from Aerith. He wouldn't be so weak-

He wouldn't have gotten lost in Leon's deep blue eyes.

The blond man reached up and gripped the collar of Leon's shirt. Leon glanced down at Cloud's hand, breaking the eye contact, not pulling away or making any effort to move. Cloud was the one to finally break the silence.

"What the hell are you-"

But he was silenced once more, this time with Leon's lips. Leon couldn't take this. The hardcore feeling that he didn't understand. He knew he had to do something.

Cloud knew he had to do something, too. He couldn't just stand there and let Leon kiss him. He wouldn't. His eyes narrowed for a moment, and before Cloud knew it they were closed and he was kissing back hard. One of Leon's hands came up to grip Cloud's neck, and soon they were as intense and rough as they had fought so many times before. At the Colosseum, in Traverse Town, at Hollow Bastion's castle... Memories went though Cloud's mind as he wrapped his arms around Leon's neck and forcefully pulled him closer, deepening the kiss.

He was almost desperate for this attention. He craved it. It wasn't sweet - it was hardly passionate. It was almost lustful. Cloud put his all in, as if something was telling him that this was the last time he'd be able to do this. Or at least, the last time with Leon. And that was what mattered.

Leon noticed Cloud's sudden change of pace. When he felt Cloud's arms around him, Leon obliged. He knew for sure then - something really was wrong. Or at least... something wasn't right. Why wouldn't Cloud just tell him what it was?

Ah, but Leon knew the answer to that. He and Cloud both had a somewhat mutual understanding. Leon knew that Cloud was about as good with words and feelings as he was. The sad thing, and Leon knew it, was that this was probably the most he and Cloud had ever communicated.

And Leon still didn't understand a thing.

His free hand traveled down the middle of Cloud's shirt, but soon he was met with much more material than he had hoped for. He tugged at it for a moment, but when he seemed to be making no progress he continued down until he found his way to Cloud's thigh-

"... Cut it out."

Cloud turned his head to the side and stared at the wall. He didn't want it to be like that. Leon surprisingly didn't argue or disagree. Instead he leaned against Cloud, one hand on the blond's hip and the other planted firmly against the wall. He rest his head against Cloud's shoulder.

Cloud didn't move. He didn't pull Leon closer, even though somewhere in the back of his mind he thought he might have wanted to. He didn't push away, because part of him felt like he'd lose something if he did... And for some reason he didn't want that.

"You're leaving again, aren't you?"

It took a lot out of Leon to say that. He held onto Cloud's waist tighter, pressed himself against him. He wanted Cloud to say no. He wanted- But Leon knew as well as anyone that he probably wouldn't get what he wanted. He just had to hear it from Cloud. The blond took a moment.

"... Yeah."

Leon instantly tensed. His hand clenched into a fist, and without thinking he slammed it into the pillar behind them. He let out an exasperated hiss.

"Shit!"

Cloud nearly cringed. When he had told Aerith, she told him she'd cheer for him. But Leon... Leon said "Shit." Cloud had to force himself to speak again.

"Look, I'll come back," he said calmly, not really knowing what else to do. Aerith believed him, but something told him that Leon needed extra reassurance. In a somewhat faint voice he added, "... I promise."

Leon stared Cloud in the eye. He made a point in doing so. Leon noticed Cloud's look of uncertainty. Cloud noticed Leon's disappointment. "You'd fucking better."

"... You'd better head back." Cloud looked away. He didn't know how to deal with this sort of thing. Leon just stared at him for a moment. He didn't understand what was going through him. How anyone could make him feel like this was beyond him. But he knew he had to keep it to himself - at least until he knew exactly what it was. He grew silent.

When Leon pulled away, Cloud felt a strange feeling come over him. When Leon turned away, Cloud felt like he had just endured a knife wound. He stepped forward.

"Listen, Squall, I-..."

Leon glanced over his shoulder. He could tell that Cloud didn't have any idea what he wanted to say.

"If you don't come back, I'll hunt you down," Leon said simply. Cloud glanced to the side, nodding his head a bit. Leon offered him a languishing smirk.

And then he was gone. Just like that.

Cloud leaned back against the pillar, arms crossing against his chest. His eyes fell closed. A sigh escaped his lips. He had to stay strong-

...for Leon.

sakureth @ 2006-05-14T21:27:00

2006-05-15T04:27:25Z

Title: Lost and Found
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
Pairing: RikuSora, if you can say it's that.
Writen to: Nothing.
Summary: Riku and Sora are young. However, Riku is "boring" in Sora's standards...
A/N: This is a children's story. I had to write it for school. It's written for the ages of preeschoolers to third graders. And yes, I had to read this to those same ages. >_>;; So you can't say it's too simple or anything. Because it's supposed to be. Also, it's set up how it was posted on the actual book. One day I'll get around to scanning it. ♥

It was a bright and sunny day. Riku laid back on the grass. His best friend, Sora, gave him a contemplative look.
"Stop being boring," Sora said to Riku's antics. Riku didn't answer him, and instead covered up his face. When he peeked out from behind his arms, Sora was gone.

Staring at the clouds, Riku's mind started to wander. He looked up at the clouds and noticed that they sort of looked like a ship...

And it was a ship! A pirate ship! And it was sailing through the sky! He watched it and watched it, but it eventually faded away.

Snapping up from his position, Riku started at the ship for a moment before looking around for Sora to tell him about it.
"Sora?" he asked uncertainly. He gasped. "Maybe he got kidnapped by the pirates!"
Thus, his adventure began.

He looked around his backyard for Sora, but he couldn't seem to find him anywhere!
He looked behind the garage.

He looked around his toys.

He even looked near the fence...

But Sora was nowhere to be found.
"He's gone!" Riku said, now very upset. He had just closed his eyes for a few seconds, and now his best friend had been kidnapped. It was all too much for him. He put his hands in his pockets and sighed, making his way toward the large tree in the center of his yard. It was then that he spotted someone lying down against the tree.

"Sora?" he asked.
The other boy stirred, but eventually opened his eyes. Riku looked at him in disbelief.
"Sorry, Riku, I fell asleep," Sora apologized quietly. Riku just stared.

"I thought the pirated got you!" Riku finally said, very seriously, and Sora gave him a puzzling look. His confused look turned into a bright grin as Riku added, "No, really, I did! And I was worried!"

Sora stuck his tongue out and shoved Riku lightly in the arm.
"Okay, Riku, okay, I take it back," he said, and for once Riku was confused. Sora grinned some more. "I don't think you're boring anymore!"

sakureth @ 2006-03-14T17:57:00

2006-03-15T00:59:39Z

Title: Untitled
A/N: A song. It's emo. For ADB.

it's hard to move on
when you keep looking back
to bring pack the past
and struggle to last
see everything in white and black
and can't bear to find things wrong

to hold on is to let go
to things you'll never, ever know
you won't find your light at the end
you can't even find the will to begin

the past will never fade
but you have no right to complain
you made yourself this way
you chose this path of dismay

you wanted this to happen

portrait of your memories
album of engraving lust
those forgotten days
words you'd never say
all bound to burning rust
found lost without a remedy

to hold on is to let go
to things you'll never, ever know
you won't find your light at the end
you can't even find the will to begin

never saw the old result
feeling things you never felt
you've always been confused
you're always gonna lose

you made things happen this way

find some way to see yourself
meet the people you never met
let go of every regret
wonder if you'll ever forget

to hold on is to let go
to things you'll never, ever know
you won't find your light at the end
you can't even find the will to begin

sakureth @ 2006-02-16T19:05:00

2006-02-17T02:06:28Z

Title: Untitled
A/N: Song. Pretty depressing, if you ask me. Angsty.

if I were you I'd wish for me
to let your life run peacefully
to go away and let you see
that maybe we weren't meant to be

my eyes don't lie, my words are true
when I say the words "in love with you"
I know you've never been one to bleed
but I'm not really one to believe in

I'm just so fucked up
and nothing's right
I think about it
and I'm up all night

I'm tainted and I'm broken
I'm gone and you're outspoken
you're breaking and I'm breaking out
I'm dying and you're filling with doubt
I hate myself, I hate myself

pretend that things are the same
pretend I never said that name
smile to me and say you're fine
mean it when you say you're mine

I promised to make you happy
and you promised me the world
I'm sorry I'm such a liar
I'm sorry you watched our love unfurl

I'll beg you to forgive
beg you to see
begging you not to fall
be the only one for me

I'm tainted and I'm broken
I'm gone and you're outspoken
you're breaking and I'm breaking out
I'm dying and you're filled with doubt
I hate myself, I hate myself

I know I'm just wasting your time
you don't deserve to hurt like this
I don't want anyone's lips to kiss
I'd rather have someone like you to miss

I'm just so fucked up
and nothing's right
I think about it
and I'm up all night

I'm sorry

I'm tainted and I'm broken
I'm gone and you're outspoken
you're breaking and I'm breaking out
I'm dying and you're all filled up with doubt
I hate myself

sakureth @ 2006-02-16T11:48:00

2006-02-16T18:59:51Z

Title: Untitled
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
Pairing: RikuSora
Writen to: Don't remember.
Summary: "Everything is different." "Are you saying you don't love me anymore?"
A/N: Written for mako_chikara for Valentines Day. Very dramatic.

It started out with simple, unoffending questions. “Why?” Sora would ask. “How come?” “Is there anything wrong?” “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

They were near the edge of Riku’s windowsill, corner of his room. It was late at night, and though most people weren’t awake, Sora had decided that he would try to talk with Riku – it had been a while since the two of them had actually sat down and really talked with one another. Sora had been hoping that if he kept trying, he would finally get through to Riku. Alas, after what seemed like a long while but was only in reality a few spared moments, Sora was beginning to lose faith.

Things had been so different lately. Sora’s friends – that weren’t Riku, which was the only thing that really mattered to the brunette – had become an important and extremely time-consuming part of his life, and while it was only partially by choice, Sora felt as though Riku had been blocking him out. Blocking everyone out. He wouldn’t speak to Sora in a casual manner anymore – he wouldn’t even wave. He would merely walk past, ignore Sora’s lustful and painful stare, and move on to his own solitude. It was as if nothing mattered to him.

Sora had even tried to make himself believe that maybe, just maybe, if he strung himself out far enough, Riku would follow. He hoped that if he pulled away, Riku would want to pull him back, make some attempt at keeping in touch.

Days, weeks, months – gone. And Riku didn’t seem to care. Nothing fazed him. Occasionally when they would see eachother, Sora would try to make small-talk, but Riku would merely nod, say his basic and simple responses, and before Sora knew it he was gone again. It was nerve-wrecking.

"I just need space," Riku replied easily to his last statement (Please tell me what’s wrong, Riku… You can tell me anything), obviously trying to cease Sora's drama, make things seem like they weren’t exactly important. But they were, and they both knew. It was just a hard thing for Riku to accept, and Sora didn’t really realize.

Anger rose through Sora's body. "Why?" he asked forcefully, as if he had been personally hurt, as if not having Riku was having nothing at all. "Why do you need space? Why won't you tell me anything anymore? Are we not close anymore? You never used to be this way!"

Riku's eyes only narrowed, and there were emotions – unsaid confessions, too, he imagined – behind them that Sora didn't think he would ever be able to understand. They were beyond words, piercing through him and causing his mind to stall for a moment and his heart to skip a beat.

"I won't argue with you there – things are different now." A pause: a worrying pause that made Sora want to cringe. "Everything is different."

And then there was silence. Everything? Sora wondered. What did that mean? Was Riku changing? Were Riku's feelings changing? His body stiffened at the thought. His eyes traveled to the ground, and Sora wondered how a nothing like this could hurt so badly.

It wasn't even as if things were wrong, so to say. They just weren't right. Riku was distant. That wasn't 'wrong.' He was thoughtful, yearning, everything that Sora had never truly fulfilled himself. He wanted change, he was... had been changing. That wasn't wrong. Not even Sora could say that and truthfully believe it. It was normal, wasn't it? He kept telling himself that. Things are okay. This is normal. Things change, and things will get better. But no matter what his mind said, his mouth wouldn’t listen, and nothing seemed to get better.

"Are you saying you don't love me anymore?"

Running his mouth. Speaking without thinking. Asking things he doesn't want the answer to.

"Did I say that?"

Monotonous. More of a statement than a question. A tone Sora was hoping he wouldn't hear.

"You might as well have!"

Sora's eyes burned. There were visible bags under his normally bright blue eyes, and tears threatened to fall. He held them back. He was so tired, but he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep even if he wanted to. Split – because a side of him believed that Riku would hold him and get rid of his pain and another came to the sad conclusion that he wouldn't care – Sora tried to stop himself from speaking. His words were only making things worse.

But there's so much to say, he thought a little gravely, eyes still too fixated on the wooden floor to notice that Riku was clutching his forehead, hurting as well. There's so much to say, and I don't think he wants to hear me.

"You won't even... say it anymore..."

Tears that had been held back fell forcefully fell. Sora mindlessly clutched the bottom of Riku's shirt, as if for support, but it didn't give him the satisfaction it used to. In fact, feeling him closer only made Sora hurt more. It became difficult for him to breathe, and he cried even harder.

"Why..."

Sora wanted to say so much more. He wanted to say that he was sorry, that he wasn't abandoning Riku for anyone, and that he didn't want Riku to feel alone anymore. He wanted to get rid of all of Riku's pains and regrets, the ones that even Sora hadn't a clue about, despite everything. He wanted Riku to smile again, even if it meant the sacrifice of... anything, really. When he thought about it, Sora really would do anything.

But most of all, Sora wanted to tell Riku that no matter how high he built a stone wall around his heart, he would always love him and always try to get through to him – no matter how much it hurt.

"It's just stress." Riku wasn't holding him. He wasn't even looking at him. Sora couldn't feel familiar aquamarine orbs trailing over him. Riku was looking out his old glass window where there wasn't even a peaceful view. A breeze was only barely existent in the distance, and they couldn't feel it. It was nothing but obscurity. He sighed inaudibly and repeated, "Just stress."

"But why are you–" Sora stopped himself before he could go any further. Nothing was working. He couldn't get through. Things weren't the same anymore. He wiped his bloodshot eyes with his sleeve a few times before finally lifting up his head. Yes, of course, Riku was looking out that window. Riku would choose anything over him. While Sora's expression generally would have faltered, it remained pale and melancholy in the dull moonlight. “Fine,” Sora accepted, but more by internal force than anything else, “I’ll leave.”

“I’m sorry.”

Standing from the worn-down chair that he had sat in so many times, Sora looked around Riku’s bedroom and felt empty. It didn’t have that welcoming feeling anymore. It wasn’t his second home. It didn’t even feel like… Riku anymore. Riku, the one who wouldn’t look at him wholeheartedly anymore, tell him things were okay. No, he wasn’t the same.

Why did things have to change? Why couldn’t they be the way they used to? Of course, Sora knew that the change wasn’t completely one-sided. Sora had changed, Riku had changed – but was it for the better, or for the worse? Sora didn’t know. All he knew was that thinking about it made his chest hurt. It killed him on the inside. Taunting, repeating: “He doesn’t love you anymore, he doesn’t love you anymore.”

“You can talk to me,” Sora began, though his voice was a lot more timid than intended, “when you’re ready. I’m tired of not knowing you anymore. I can't... stand it.”

As he started making his way out the door, Sora was yearning for a sign from Riku – anything, as long as it was real. But nothing came. He said nothing, did nothing, made no sign of wanting Sora to stay. It was an abyss of silence. Before he stepped out the door, Sora wondered if it would be a good idea to close Riku’s window, but figured that Riku would have no real feeling of life otherwise. He needed the breeze, but was too caught up in… well, whatever it was. Sometimes Sora didn’t even want to know.

He left casually, waving to Riku’s all-too familiar family as he did so. They hadn’t changed. They still said things that Sora was used to, said they were glad to see him, said that they hoped he would drop by sometime. On his way out, he smiled as he usually did, though it, in reality, had changed, and everyone – even Riku, though he never said it aloud – noticed it. Sora wasn’t as cheerful as he used to be, as optimistic. He took things as they came, hoped for the best, and tried to make them better if they weren’t. But Riku – Riku had a way of frustrating him, and Sora didn’t know if he wanted to scream as loud as he could or cry until he could cry no more. At times he did both.

When he left, he walked around to the side of the house. Sora looked at the still-open window, and he was partially relieved to know that Riku wasn’t completely shutting him out. He was only a few feet away, and as soon as his eyes trailed over to Riku's shadowy figure, Sora pulled them away. He turned, ready to leave and ignore everything that had happened, but his legs wouldn't move.

There was an awkward and time-consuming silence. Sora wanted to look back, but he wouldn't – couldn't, because he knew if he saw those empty eyes for another second, he wouldn't be able to hold back anything, and he didn't want to find out where that would honestly bring him. His body remained stiff, and he didn't know if Riku was even looking at him – paying attention, caring. His knees were weak, his eyes fixated on the soil. The night was concealed by shadows. He wanted something to happen, anything to happen. If it were to rain, at least Sora would know there was something out there.

But there was nothing. No rain, no breeze, no sunlight. There was only darkness.

"I do love you–"

Sora's breath grew heavy. His heart raced. He knew that voice... he had almost forgotten it. Something true and sincere, caring and regretful, a tone Sora hadn't heard in a while. His mind was still doubtful, he didn't know if he was hallucinating or if it was actually true. If only he could bring himself to look back – look into Riku's eyes and see if there was truth or not. His legs began moving. He could either go back or move forward, and Sora didn't know which would have the better consequences. Soon he was running, escaping from the one thing – person, heart, emotion – that he desired the most.

He didn't want to hear that voice anymore. It dug into his skin, tore up his insides, shattered his soul and brought tears to his eyes. He loved it and loathed it at the exact moment. He craved it and wanted to disappear. He reached for it and wanted it to fade away. There were more unshed tears, and Sora had no intentions of allowing himself to be weak again. Not when he was trying so hard to be strong.

He stopped.

He couldn't run anymore, because he knew if he did there would be no turning back, and Sora didn't know if he was ready to take that step. He was angry, confused, upset, and most of all heartbroken, but he was desperately in love and nothing seemed right at that moment. It hurt. Sora tried to catch his breath. All he had to do was breathe. Push everything out, if only for the moment, and breathe–

"–I just don't... love myself anymore..."

He chocked.

sakureth @ 2006-02-01T19:15:00

2006-02-02T02:17:08Z

Title: Falling For You
A/N: Extremely old song. Kind of weird. :D bubbles92725 wanted to see it.

I've never really been good at saying goodbye
so all I do is wave and try my hardest not to cry
it's not that I don't love you
it's just that you never loved me
and it's not that I don't need you
it's just that you never really needed me beside you

and you don't fight it
you knew it was coming
and you don't deny it
you know that I was falling for you

if I begged for paradise would you take me there?
and if I went away tomorrow would you shed a single tear?
maybe I'm just stupid
or maybe I'm just falling for you
and maybe I'm ignoring
or maybe I just don't know what to do

and you don't fight it
you knew it was coming
and you don't need to deny it
I knew that I was falling for you

why don't we just get together?
and why can't we just love eachother?
why don't you see the best in me?

and why don't we just talk about it?
why can't we just live without it?
and why can't we change destiny?

because nothing we do is good enough
and nothing we do can ever be right

and you don't want to fight it
and you knew it was coming
and you don't want to deny it
yeah, we both knew I was falling for you

and you don't want to fight it
and you don't try to deny it
and I don't want to hide it
because we all knew I was falling in love with you
I'm falling for you

sakureth @ 2006-01-22T21:55:00

2006-01-23T04:55:54Z

Title: My Winter Fantasy
Fandom: Original
Pairing: None
Writen to: Crack?
Summary: When one of your best friends has to go to Paris, you don't really know what to do when he decides to take you along.
A/N: XD CRACK. Total crack. School assignment. My winter fantasy is under the cut. Some Auggie bashing for him being too rich. Some bubbles92725 bashing for her eating too much. ;D

I looked around in awe. It was surprising that Auggie would take us all to a place like this. Well, from what I've heard, it wasn't exactly by choice. But that was probably because I was standing there when he got the call.

"You have reached Augustus Duncan; how may I help you?" he asked professionally.

Chatter was heard from the other line. Auggie's face only faltered slightly at what the woman was saying, but he nodded anyway.

"Too much money in the bank, eh? Well, I'll have to do something about that. Goodbye." He hung up the phone, and turned to me.

"How'd you like to go to Paris?"

So, here we were. Becky, Jayce, Stephanie, Auggie, and I were in Paris. It was funny how Auggie had spontaneously popped out of nowhere with a jet and passports to France. It was almost as if he was planning this all along -- which was a little ironic, considering that he had always denied the fact that he was wealthy.

"This is crazy," Becky said to herself in awe. It was winter, November, and everything was beautiful. It was my first time out of the country, so I didn't have much to say except for "wow," "did you see that?" and "oh my god." Auggie didn't seem to care much; in fact, he acted like he had been here many times before.

"Actually, only 14.7 percent of all people in France are mentally insane," Auggie said matter-of-factly, though I doubted any of us actually believed him. He was always trying to show off like that, and, to be quite honest, he wasn't good at it.

Stephanie, who was also with us, bounced around happily and squealed. "I'm so glad my mom isn't here!" she practically shouted. "She'd kill me if she knew where I was!"

Jayce, who had stayed quiet throughout most of the trip, noticed that Becky had aimlessly wandered away and pointed it out to the rest of us. Auggie sent out his top-notch FBI agents to find her, and it only took a few minutes before he got the reassuring call on his extremely expensive cellular phone. It turned out that she was at a casual French cafe, not too far from where we were. After gathering up our little crew, we marched along the path until we spotted her.

"Dang, Becky, we just ate a practical buffet on Auggie's private home-owned jet!" I scolded, and Stephanie nodded on cue in the background. Jayce just snickered.

"Do you ever stop eating?" Jayce asked, which was one of the first things she had said throughout the entire trip. Auggie raised an eyebrow and I crossed my arms. Becky merely shook her head.

"Nope, I'm still hungry, even now," she beamed. A sudden doubt came over me -- neither of us had any money, so how were we to pay for the food that Becky had so swiftly helped herself to? As if on cue, Auggie whipped out a heap of cash, and Stephanie gaped at it. I rolled my eyes.

Luckily for us, Auggie had his Automatic Translate-Everything-And-Everything 2000, so we knew exactly what the French waiters were saying.

It was a little odd, for the next thing I knew, we were atop the Eiffel Tower, each of us strapped in gear in case we fell. None of us knew that Auggie had such connections, or, well, at least enough money to have this legally done. Was it even legal? I doubted any of us knew -- even Mr. Moneybags over there.

"Why are we even up here?" I asked, a little bored. Sure, we were in Paris, but... well, staring off into the distance was an easily accomplished past time, even in your backyard, wasn't it? "Nothing is happening."

"Then jump off."

"What?"

"If you don't like it, jump off. But you'll be missing out."

"On what?"

The others were either laughing at us or not paying attention. I hardly even remember. If it weren't for my enormous fear of heights, I probably would have jumped off; alas, that was not the case. I considered it, staring down into the depths of France. If I jumped, I assumed, I would probably hit something along the way or die of shock. I wasn't really sure.

Stephanie jumped.

"What the--?!"

It was a shock, that was for sure. Jayce instantly got up from her sitting position, and Becky almost got close enough to the edge to peer over. I just kept repeating the same three words in my head, but restrained from saying them aloud due to the fact that Auggie had used his human-controlling remote to turn off any swears coming from our bodies.

Speaking of the affluent, spiky-haired teen, Auggie had pulled out something that I assumed to be costly. He pressed a few buttons and sighed. "This is the fifty-third time this has happened in the past year," he said to himself, and seemed tempted to throw his phone off of the building. I was sure that Becky was tempted to drop a few gil.

Stephanie was soon standing next to me, and I jumped so far back that I, myself, almost fell. Shortly after, a group hug ensued.

When the drama had died down, fireworks seemed to appear out of nowhere. Jayce had later informed me that Auggie had been controlling the sky with his out-of-date Fireworks Maker 4000, but at the time I was still wide-eyed and interested. I was sure that all of us were. The fireworks came out as various familiar things: clouds, keyblades (which Becky had been so kindly to inform me that the keyblade was only there because "everyone has a keyblade"), Strong Bad, and Nelly. There was only one thing missing.

I let out a sigh, because it was the only thing that would make this trip worthwhile. Though I knew by that time that Auggie probably owned the universe, even he could not give me such a gift. It was out of his hands, though I desperately wished it wasn't.

My eyes, if possible, widened even more (without popping out of the socket, I'm sure you wouldn't believe) at the sight of it. My hopes! My dreams! My desires!

My favorite J-rock singer!

And Miyavi appeared in the air, floating on something that I distinctively remember having "AUGGIE.CO" written on the side. I was far too entranced by the figure before me, though, and I was sure that Jayce and possibly Becky were drooling in the background. Hopefully Stephanie had enough sense in her mind to realize that Miyavi was the hottest man in the universe as well.

His blue hair and gorgeous eyes sparked through the sky, and he proceeded to sing "Jibun Kakumei." I couldn't have been happier.

Afterward... um... Miyavi fell in love with me. And brought me to live in Japan with him in his giant mansion that Auggie built out of his own boredom. And we read manga together.

This all took place during winter.

The end.

sakureth @ 2006-01-09T20:19:00

2006-01-10T03:20:10Z

Title: Untitled
A/N: SO EMO. I don't know where all of this emo comes from.

so cold inside
my heart's like ice
frozen and helpless
all from sacrifice

but it's not still forever
ice melts and things change
and I'm not stupid enough to think
that things will stay the same

I'm never sure how to read your eyes
coated in joy, dying inside
we never should have got onto this ride
we planned our own demise

it tugs at me sometimes
how you look around like nothing's alright
like nothing's okay and you try to fight
and I know it's been my fault all along

'cause my heart's like ice
frozen inside -- melting away slowly
and maybe it's both our faults
you know I'm not one to admit when I'm lonely

I'm wasn't sure how to read your eyes
coated in joy, dying inside
we never should have paid for this ride
we planned our own demise

it's just the light that I can't see
you're just the one that I can't feel
we were opposite from one another
we were so perfect for eachother

so I'll hold my breath so you can breathe
and I'll shut myself down so you can smile
I'll suffocate so you won't bleed
and hope you'll be okay for a while

I'm never sure how to read your eyes
coated in joy, dying inside
we never should have got onto this ride
I'll go away so you won't hide
we planned our own demise

sakureth @ 2005-12-24T21:30:00

2005-12-25T04:35:24Z

Title: Untitled
Fandom: Advent Children
Pairing: Cloud/Kadaj
Writen to: No idea.
Summary: Could he really be 'happy'?
A/N: Drabble. Written for epistretes. Happy Holidays. :D

"What do you think happens to them?"

His voice was low and dull as always, hard to understand, his mouth making little to no movements. It definitely didn't help that both of his hands were crossed in front of his mouth, muffling his voice.

Tifa glanced over at the sound of his voice, smiling lightly and walking easily over to his mindful position on the bed. She moved some of the dark strands of hair behind her ear. She was, as always, almost bright and moderately cheerful.

"What?" she asked lightly, silently hoping that she'd hear what he was saying this time.

"..." He didn't exactly want to take the time to explain it again. He stared directly past her, lost in thought. "What happens to them, when they die?" Truth was, he couldn't get a certain remembrance off of his mind. The way a certain young silver-haired boy had perished in his arms, tears streaming down his face. How he looked, pure and almost innocent, opposite of how he had when they had battled.

Why couldn't he get it out of his mind? The way the boy's body had trembled, shivering with feelings that Cloud could hardly imagine himself. Why was that image planted in his thoughts, refusing to just leave him-

"Who?"

"... Anybody."

"Hmm."

Cloud idly wondered if they were together, him and her. What had happened to them? And then his mind traveled elsewhere - the differences between them. How his body had disappeared before his eyes, how he had died, how she had died. How he had witnessed both of their lives evanesce.

"I don't know," she added, reasoning smile still mildly on her face. "I guess they're fine, right? I mean, if they're dead... they probably don't face that many problems. I bet they're happy."

"..." He said nothing, merely staring off into his own memory, recollecting his thoughts. Happy?

The same image came back to him, how the silver-haired man had stumbled to his feet in a last attempt to attack, only to end up laying helplessly in the blond's arms. How it had rained, how the droplets of water had ran down his pale face along with tears of, what he could tell, joy. How he had somehow smiled, breath heavy and crying face, when he knew he would die.

Would that really make him content in the end?

Could he really be satisfied in the afterlife?

Can he actually be 'happy'?

Cloud closed his eyes. Tifa's copper orbs blinked a few times before she returned to her previous errand, deciding that leaving Cloud alone would be the best idea for the current time. He was so hard to understand.

The blond let out a sigh. I don't know... I don't know anything...

...I want him to be all right.

sakureth @ 2005-12-08T17:23:00

2005-12-09T00:28:44Z

Title: Favorite Thing
Fandom: set in Kingdom Hearts-canon
Pairing: Clorith
Writen to: No idea. O_o;
Summary: ``Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.``
A/N: Written for kh_drabble. Is supposed to take place in KH. Written before I played KHII. ;D Finally posted on fanfiction.net.

``Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.``

Her auburn hair was the only thing that flashed before his cerulean orbs. He blinked and tilted his head up slightly, glancing at the figure before him. She was graceful and balletic as always; the view of her perpetually compassionate and utterly harmonious.

It had been a while, since Cloud had stumbled upon Traverse Town and found the one thing - existance, rather - he had been seeking. She was delighted to have seen him again, but his outlook on everything was always so melancholy. She could just see it in his eyes. In a way, she could tell that he wasn't complete.

They were alone that day, him leaning against the dull wall in a downbeat sort of manner, her tending to the flowers she had planted who knows how long ago. While looking at her, his thoughts traveled to his journeys, how far he had gone just to see her again.

"What's your favorite thing?" she asked him innocently, snapping him out of his daze in an instant. He blinked and when his vision came into complete focus and jumped a bit when he realized she was directly in front of him, smiling.

"... I don't know what you mean."

"I simply mean, what is your favorite thing in the world?"

"I don't know," he replied cooly after a thoughtful moment of silence, crossing his arms and looking toward the right of him. Golden strands followed, and he proceeded to stare blankly into the distance, his expression unreadable.

She took a step or so forward, one of her pale arms swinging lightly as she did so. The other was rested easily at the top of the fabric under her neck, her fingers lightly curled. She came to a slow stop when she was only a short distance away from him, her rosy dress seeming perfect as it swayed silently even when she stopped. A tender smile formed upon her face, and it looked pure, as if it hadn't seen any hardship.

"My favorite thing is knowing that everyone I care about is happy," she said softly, tilting her head until she was in his eyesight. Her smile only seemed to grow warmer. "That's a rare and wonderful thing, don't you think?"

He blinked and turned his head, only a bit, to where it was still aimed toward the right of him but he still had a good view of her. He let out a small, inaudible sigh, raising his head to lean against the wall and staring mindfully at the ceiling. "...Yeah."

There wasn't much else to say. She went along with her chores, so to speak, tidying up everything and anything that she saw unorganized. He merely stood idly the way he had been, studying the gracious way she moved about. There were hardly any other words shared between them until the sound of people approaching the door echoed through the room.

"Oh! I think they're home!" she smiled brightly and rushed toward the door, motioning for him to follow. He pushed himself off of the wall, clothes brushing against it as he accompanied her at the entrance. No words came out of his dry lips as they entered, and as soon as she was preoccupied by the man in leather and woman with short brunette hair, he returned to his quiet - or as quiet as it could get, considering the three other people in the room - isolation.

Even with everything that had happened in the past, the agonizing pain he had went through to find her, opening up was still as difficult as it had ever been. The words just weren't enough to describe his internal feelings. And as he looked over to see her beaming expression, a part of him yearned to approach her and tell her that his favorite thing in the world was seeing her smile.